I guess I’m just feeling very lost and fragile and disoriented today. I’m a bit afraid of myself right now but also welcoming it with open arms.
It’s sunny and nice and summer-y outside today but it doesn’t seem to be reaching me on the inside.
Not but actually fuck everything about today. I don’t feel like myself, and I don’t know why. My body feels weird and foreign and unrecognizable. Existing but not within my skin.
I haven’t showered in a few days but I also haven’t purged since Monday so I mean crime vs. victory I’ll take it.
- Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia